


Fractured Skies

by orphan_account



Series: WolfStar [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abelism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe-No Magic, Artist!Sirius, BSL, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Bullying, Deaf Character, Deaf Culture, Deaf!Sirius, Epilepsy, French!Remus, M/M, Marauders, Pining, Pregnant Lily, Seizures, Sign Language, Slow Burn, Snape is not a nice guy, Student!Remus, different timelines, he's a very bad guy, mentions of Snape/Lucius, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 12:34:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4787432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two worlds collide.  Deaf artist Sirius Black works at his best mate's cafe.  Remus Lupin is an epileptic student from France who is just looking to get by unnoticed.  But the artist sees something he wants in the shy boy, and makes it his mission to see what makes Remus tick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this came from a tumblr anon request that I got ages ago. They wanted wolfstar, and it's been too long since I've written in the HP fandom. The prompt was for Wolfstar coffee shop AU. I put my own twists on it of course. Also my description is crap. This is a slow burn fic. The second chapter will have more of the mature scenes. Also note that I'm going for Canon Snape, not Fanon Snape, so he's a right tosser. The worst kind, very unsympathetic and irredeemable. So note that. He's not a tortured soul, just a prick. And there will be continued ass-hattery from Snape in the second half of this story. Also note I'm not using sign grammar, just the idea of it so it still flows in written text, but you get a better idea of how sign translates to English. Please also note they are in Britain so they're speaking BSL, not ASL. Also I've no personal experience with epilepsy but I've done as much research as I can, but if I've said something completely wrong (because you know how google can be) let me know and I'll fix it straight away. Also please take the abelism tag very seriously. Snape is an abelist bully, so if you get triggered, don't read on.
> 
> Please note I've just completely fucked the ages. So Fred and George and Tonks are about the same ages as the marauders, and I've done it because I love them and I think it would be great to have them all together like that. It's AU so I don't feel bad at all. ;)
> 
> Also I apologise for my hiatus. Things just went awful, then got better, then got weird. Moved abroad (to the States, and I like it, but it's weird. Not sure how long I'll be here.) Had a split with my now ex. Got published as a writer which was my greatest joy and huge goal.
> 
> I know I have some WIPs I've not worked on in a while. I promise I'll try. Don't like to leave anyone hanging. If I can't, I may delete them just so they're not unfinished forever. Anyhow I hope everyone enjoys this. Marauders are my favourite and god what I'd give to have JK give us more canon marauders. xx

He laughed when his best friend told him he wanted to open up a coffee shop. James was only a year into University after all. But James had the money to do it. And who was Sirius to try and stop him anyhow. He’d known James all his life, and when the Potter set his mind to do something, there was no stopping him.

Much like when he’d first met Sirius. His parents had forced him to go to a regular school. And whilst Hogwarts Academy boasted high marks and large percentages of students who went on to do great things, they were ill equipped to deal with a student such as Sirius Black. His family had a lot of money, his parents on the board of governors and everything. But Sirius had been born profoundly Deaf, and his parents repeatedly tried to have him fitted with implants, but he’d never been a good candidate.

So instead they forced him through years upon years of vocal therapy, and lessons to help read lips, and every way they could think of to help him assimilate to a proper society. And it wasn’t until he met James that someone tried to communicate with him.

James had hired a tutor during their first year, begging his parents so he could get through his BSL levels. Which, being as smart as he was, he aced each course and by the time they were in third year, James was fluent and Sirius stopped struggling so much in his classes.

They were inseparable. Even after James met and—by sixth year—woo’d Lily Evans. Who was also living with them in their flat.

And of course Sirius knew University wasn’t going to be for him. If he’d struggled that much in school before, University would be more difficult. Besides, he wanted to be an artist, and University wasn’t for that. Not really. And when his parents learnt he was not assimilating to their liking, he was promptly cut off.

Not that he minded. They were horrible, really.

So that’s when James came up with the coffee shop, which Sirius would run—behind the scenes of course because whilst he could speak, he hated it—and James would fund. It felt like charity, but really it was the best kind.

*** 

Remus Lupin was a transfer from Brittany. Growing up on a small farm with his parents, he’d led a simple life. Difficult, but simple. He was eight when they discovered his condition. Epilepsy. He’d had a few fits as a child, but they’d been mild. Until he was eight and a grand mal seizure put him in hospital for nearly a month. He’d gone blind in one eye and though his vision had returned, there was the persistent threat of it happening again.

He went through a series of treatments and surgeries to try and correct the problems. He wasn’t able to drive, and his memory problems kept his marks low in spite of his intelligence and fierce desire to learn. Point of it was, he’d had a shit lot in life and was hoping for more. When he was twelve his mum passed on. Car crash in bad weather.

It got worse, just as he turned eighteen. His dad had been travelling home one evening and a person with a few too many pints came round a blind corner and clipped the edge of his dad’s car just so. It rolled. Lyall Lupin didn’t make it.

He was paid out a pittance to cover funeral expenses, then sold the house and decided a fresh start was necessary. He was accepted to King’s College which was by some miracle, he was certain. But his expenses covered a quaint little flatshare near the University which he could get to by tube or on foot if he was having a good day.

It wasn’t perfect. He didn’t know anyone, and his English wasn’t as good as it could have been. But he felt independent and honestly, that’s what he needed most of all.

*** 

‘What time class?’ Sirius asked as James was finishing up hanging their new sign. The Marauders, it read, with bright orange letters just above the door. Sirius had wanted a hand-carved sign but James insisted they make a profit for a while before investing in expensive décor.

The place itself was nice. A handful of tables, smattering of chairs and benches. They spent the most on the coffee, espresso, and equipment. The good thing for the pair was Sirius was an excellent baker and with some old family recipes, they were sure to do well. They’d spent half the summer learning how to make all the proper drinks, and Sirius had even managed to master espresso art. Currently he was working on perfecting the Galaxy, with a handful of plants orbiting the sun.

It would at least be gimmicky enough to draw customers in, which is what he wanted. This would be his life line. His way to actual independence so he was no longer living on James’ inheritance. Not that James ever complained, but Sirius didn’t like feeling like a kept man.

‘I finish noon,’ James signed from across the room. ‘What time you want me arrive?’

Sirius gave a nonchalant shrug. It didn’t matter really, and his fingers told James just that. He could handle it. They made it a point to hire hearing people with a background in sign. Two CODAS, twins called Fred and George whose first language had been sign from Deaf parents. George was Hard of Hearing, though with an aid had no problems interacting with hearies. With the vague background, Sirius learnt they came from a family of Deaf parents, and a mixture of Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and hearing kids. A lot of siblings, Sirius learnt, from the stories the twins told.

The other was Tonks, and she was Sirius’ cousin. She had four piercings, and violently purple hair, and got on with everyone very well. She, like Sirius, was unlike the rest of the family. She’d always enjoyed the company of her cousin, and even James took a liking to her in the end.

The rest, well, they’d figure out along the way. Point of it was, none would question Sirius’ authority or ability to do his job. And James was satisfied enough to leave his best mate in charge of things and know there was only a percentage—twenty, maybe thirty—that he’d find the place in flames when he got back.

Sirius paused by the table James was currently sat at, one of his more boring text books open in front of him. Sirius glanced at the name. Chaucer. He nearly fell asleep just thinking about it. But James had pages upon pages of notes, most decorated with hearts and declarations of I Love Lily Evans, and he wanted to puke, but James really was ever the romantic.

‘How Lily feel?’ Sirius asked when James finally looked up from sorting his notes.

James grinned. Lily was expecting. Off schedule, really, but they couldn’t be happier about it. Lily, of course, was very anti-marriage. Declared it was an archaic tradition which was promising a woman to a man as property and she wouldn’t hear of it. James didn’t much care. He had everything he wanted.

Including Sirius as godfather. Sirius, of course, excited for the prospect of having a godchild, was fussing over Lily every chance he could get. Worse than James, everyone said, but he didn’t care. He never thought he’d be one to have a family so he’d be throwing all his attention at this boy. Or girl. Or whatever the baby chose to be in the end.

‘Lily feel happy. Tired. Busy.’ James packed away his books and looked round the store, his fingers absently ruffling his hair to make it look even more untidy than it usually did. ‘You ok?’

Sirius rolled his eyes. ‘Yes. Me good. You go. You late. Go.’ He bodily shoved James toward the doors just as the twins came through, signing and shouting their hellos. James stopped to talk with Fred for a moment whilst George immediately went behind the counter to get everything set up for their first day. It would be good, Sirius thought, a warm feeling in his belly. Yeah. It would be good.

*** 

Remus was enjoying his stay, his little flatshare with the four other people crammed into the smallish building. Getting used to people around all the time was the hardest part. He was used to living out in the middle of nowhere. Land that went on forever, really, or it felt like it. Closest neighbour had been a sheep farmer, and it was a ten minute walk down a long, winding road to get to any shops.

Living in the heart of London was terrifying. Everything was so damned loud. And busy. And his flatmates always wanted to chat, or to watch a film together, or go out drinking. Freshers week was a nightmare for someone like Remus who was constantly afraid of being overstimulated. His medications made it so he couldn’t drink, and he was loathe to tell any of them about his condition in spite of knowing it was probably safer. But his English still left something to be desired, and he wasn’t sure he could translate well and maintain a relationship where none of them got fussy about his state of being.

And there was also Snape. Severus, his proper name, but no one called him that. It was a fitting name. Dark and kind of greasy and rude. He took an immediate disliking to Remus for whatever reason—he’d later learn it was because Snape hated the French. His awful father had been one and Snape was the sort who would take his anger out on everyone and everything. Especially if it reminded him of his father.

Snape made it his personal mission to make Remus’ life difficult. From leaving his milk out on the counter all night until it curdled, “Oh sorry, Lupin,” he’d sneer. “I set it aside and…forgot,” to purposefully losing his post, and even at times picking the lock on Remus’ door and leaving the room wide open for any and everyone to stroll right in whilst Remus was in class.

Remus bore it all in silence, though. If all he had to endure was a bit of bullying and turned milk, he’d take it. It was no more of a struggle than how absolutely poor he was, and half-starved because his loans only just covered his expenses.

It was a month into term when Remus strolled by the coffee shop. As a rule he avoided caffeine. In spite of doing well on his medications, certain things were a seizure trigger, and heavy caffeine was one of them. It was another reason he avoided going out with his flatmates. Often times they’d find themselves in some dance club with flashing lights. Remus had made the mistake of tagging along only the one time and…he was just grateful he’d made it to safety before falling to a fit.

But the coffee shop looked promising. And they had a wide selection of loose teas on the counter, several of them herbal. So he pulled out his money, saw he’d have enough for a small cup, and walked up to see a bright-faced ginger working the till.

“Welcome to the Marauders,” he said with a sweeping gesture. “What can I get you?”

Remus checked over the teas, then ordered. “Er…Jasmine. Extra hot.”

“Coming up.”

Remus peered at the little badge with the ginger’s name on it. Fred. Fred pushed a few buttons on the till. “Anything else? We have pastries to die for. House made, the lot.”

Remus glanced at the wares behind the glass, but knew he couldn’t afford it. “Ah…no. Thank you.” He handed over the money, then moved aside to wait for his tea. It was up quickly, and he took it to a table near the window, sipping on it for a while. The café was busy enough, people popping in and out for lattes and drip coffees and teas.

Remus took his time, savouring the floral brew, and watched as the men behind the counter whipped round and round, serving the public with a flourish. Every so often, another man came out of the back. He wore a black apron nearly covered with specs of white flour, and he was definitely something to behold.

His hair was long, curly, pulled into a lazy topknot, but a few strands poked out, falling over his forehead. His eyes were piercing blue, and his mouth set in a deep frown, but there was something about him which screamed mischief. Remus liked it.

They met eyes a few times and Remus swore each time he saw the man’s mouth quirk up a little at the corners. It sent a rush spiralling through him. One he desperately wanted to cling to. But he never stopped for long. He popped out to fill the pastry counter, then he’d be gone again.

Remus was nearly done with his tea when the door opened, and he tried not to groan when his flatmate clad in all-black, wearing a scowl, walked in through the doors. He spotted Remus sat at the table near the window and made a point of walking over.

It was just at the moment the dark-haired man walked out, and Remus was mortified that the handsome stranger would see this exchange.

“Lupin,” Snape drawled. “Spending your pennies? Did you have to beg on the corner to afford that?”

Remus turned his face away. “Afternoon, Severus.”

“By the state of that jumper,” Snape said, turning his sneer on a few worn holes in the sleeves, “I’d say next time skip the tea and buy some proper attire. Though I daresay that would be a miracle to afford.”

He made a large show of ordering the most expensive drink on the menu, and a large scone.

Remus did take notice, however, that the twins were far less impressed with Snape’s pocketbook. And Remus knew Snape lived solely on the charity of another man. Lucius Malfoy, a grad student who came from loads of money. Malfoy was engaged, but Remus had seen him sneaking out of the flat enough times to know that for Malfoy and Snape, likely the engagement was for propriety only.

Either way, Snape was most definitely a kept boy, and it was hardly something to brag about.

“I’d ask you to join me, but I’d rather not sully my table,” Snape said, loud enough for everyone to hear him. He then plunked himself down with his back facing the counter so he could properly sneer at Remus.

Frustrated and tired, Remus rose, taking his paper cup to the bin. As he turned, he caught Fred’s eye who winked, then dropped the scone directly on the floor. Making a little ‘o’ with his mouth, he plucked it from the tiles and eased it onto a plate.

Remus knew it was wrong to laugh, but couldn’t help himself. And couldn’t help himself even more so when the dark-haired man accidentally brushed a bit of dust from the shelf into Snape’s latte. He got a wink from both men as he wandered out.

*** 

Remus created a habit of coming to the café. His funds for the month were running disturbingly low, but more times than not, he was given his cup of tea without being charged. Near the end of the month, he met the owner for the first time. A tall fellow with messy black hair and glasses called James.

It was through James he learnt the baker’s name. Sirius. “Where the bloody hell is Sirius?” James had called to the blue-haired woman who was now working the till. She was called Tonks and had several times had a conversation with Remus in French.

“Dunno, out back for a smoke I s’ppose. Why? What’s he done now?”

“Decorated,” James snapped.

“Your house?”

James huffed and turned, leaning on the counter. “The baby’s room. He’s decorated it. With pictures of motorbikes. Literally from floor to ceiling. Every inch of the damned wall. Lily is about ready to murder him.”

Remus couldn’t help his snort, and flushed when James looked at him. “Sorry,” he hurried, knowing he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping.

James, who didn’t seem to mind at all, sank into the chair opposite Remus. “He really is sorry, that one. That…that ruddy…you know he’s done this before too. Well not with a baby of course. This is our first. But at school. Dyed all my socks pink one year because he thought I’d insulted him—which I hadn’t done. Was talking about someone else. But course he’s rubbish with speech so go figure,” James waved his hand and although Remus wasn’t sure what he was talking about—thinking some was getting lost in translation—he still laughed. “One year he swapped all my pants with Lily’s knickers. One year signed me up on a dating website and had all the calls sent to Lily’s mobile. Nearly lost my bollocks with that little trick of his.”

Remus felt his cheeks heat up to a ruddy colour and he shook his head. “Sounds dreadful.”

“He is. Bloody awful. He’s lucky I love him so much. I’m James, by the way. Own the place.” 

“Remus.”

“Pleasure.” Then the door swung open and Sirius swaggered in, freezing when he saw James stand up. “You!” James shouted, pointing a finger at Sirius.

Sirius threw up his hands, shaking his head, and backed away through the doors with his hands up in surrender. Remus couldn’t help a loud chuckle, and Tonks rolled her eyes.

“Never a dull day round here, I’ll tell you that.”

Remus expected to hear shouting from both James and Sirius, but none came. Eventually James came back through, looking pleased and smug, and stopped by Remus’ table. “You’re here often enough. You like our little shop?”

Remus flushed, then nodded. “I do. The sort of place I’d go hungry for the rest of the week.” He stopped when he realised what he was admitting, and shook his head. “I er…I mean…”

James was giving him a curious look, but it was put on hold when the doors swung open and Snape walked in. Remus tensed, but was surprised when he saw James straighten and cross his arms.

“Potter.” Snape turned round, looking at the shop sign, then glowered. “Marauders. I should have guessed. And look, all friendly with Loony Lupin.”

James’ gaze snapped to Remus, and if possible, he looked more furious. “Snivellus. What are you doing here?”

“Not patronising this shop again, I can tell you that much.”

“Good. We don’t need your greasy quid anyway. Go on, fuck off out of here.”

“I should have guessed. Thought someone had taken pity on Black when I saw him behind the counter. Now I realise you’re just….giving out charity for the pathetic and poor.” He directed his last comment at Remus before spinning on his heel and marching out.

Remus hung his head, but felt a hand close round his arm. “You know him?” James asked.

Remus gave a miserable nod. “He’s my er…flatmate. I wasn’t given much choice.”

“I expect not in student housing. And I’m sorry for you.” James looked like he wanted to say more, but instead just said, “Whatever he’s getting it’s on the house, Tonks. I mean it. Having to put up with Snivellus… God help anyone in that flat.”

Then James was gone and Tonks was trying to persuade him to order something else, but Remus didn’t want to take pity, even if James meant well.

“I think,” Remus said, trying to be careful with his words, “perhaps if you have a job opening. Then I can earn my free cups of tea.”

Tonks brightened, then deflated. “Well er…that might be a bit…because you see James has this requirement that…” She stopped and sighed. “I’ll talk to him.”

Remus had a feeling it was for kindness only she said it. But what did it matter. He was at least welcome there, and happy to spend what little money he got each month for the feeling that he was somewhere people might want him.

*** 

Sirius went back to his second love after James left. Drawing. He’d always wanted to be an artist, something his parents frowned upon along with his very existence, really. But he was good. In fact at Hogwarts, the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, had even allowed him to have a small showing at the end of his final year.

He’d put together a portfolio in hopes of being noticed, but it hadn’t worked out. Not that Sirius expected it to. And he was fine now. Fine, but perhaps a little besotted.

His sketchbook happened to be filled with the tawny-haired man who came in for tea nearly every day of the week. Remus, Fred eventually supplied.

‘Quiet. Cute.’ Fred shrugged as he leant back against the baking table. He pinched his fingers to his thumb just under his chin. ‘Fancy you.’

Sirius’ eyebrows flew up. ‘Me?’

Fred laughed. ‘Maybe. He quiet. Talk English ok. No sign.’

Well that was hardly a surprise as there weren’t a lot of hearing people who signed. ‘Spell name.’

‘R-E-M-U-S.’

‘Say.’ Sirius’ eyes were focused hard on Fred’s mouth as he pronounced the name. Sirius tried it out, and after Fred corrected him from R-eh-mus, to R-ee-mus, he got it right.

James later told him the reason Snivellus had been so dreadful to him was he was Remus’ flatmate. ‘Unlucky bastard.’ James’ hand flew from his nose with a little more force than he intended, and Sirius snorted a laugh.

He told James then what he’d done to Snape’s latte, and what had been done to the scone, and James took a moment as his boss to admonish him, then as his best mate to squeeze his shoulder and nod approvingly.

‘Give future free food, free tea,’ James signed, letting Sirius know Remus was not to pay for anything, and Sirius was quite alright with that one. He even took down all the motorbike photos in the baby’s room just to show he was agreeable to James’ decision.

The good news was, after James had confronted Snivellus, the greasy-haired git hadn’t come back. But that afternoon when Tonks came in for her shift, she told Sirius about Remus inquiring after an open position.

‘What you say?’

Tonks gave a helpless shrug. ‘He no sign. Okay English. BUT…’ Her fingers curved round the letters. ‘James not want. REMUS no sign. James not want.’

Sirius’ cheeks went pink and he thought perhaps he could convince James. If Remus was interested. Because maybe he’d be interested in learning, at the very least. Sirius made it a habit of not teaching the hearing how to sign because mostly they only ever wanted to know the sexy words or the bad ones. James had even taken it upon himself to learn privately, never asking Sirius to put himself out.

And it wasn’t like Remus was asking. Sirius would be offering. If he could get a good bugger out of it, that would be worth it. And maybe more because Remus was just so untidy and shy and adorable, he could hardly stand it.

‘What you think?’ Tonks’s fingers flashed up, getting his attention. She was smirking. ‘REMUS look you…MOONING.’

Sirius flushed a little more and snorted. ‘I call him MOONY.’ He then gave him the name sign for moon, pinching his fingers, drawing them apart and curved like the half moon, coming to a close at the end. Because it was adorable, and because Tonks knew under no circumstances was she to share this development with Remus until Sirius was actually ready to give him the sign name. 

‘You fancy also?’ Tonks asked, but it was rhetorical. It was all over his face. His cousin had always been able to read him like an open book.

Sirius huffed and turned away to finish the baking for the afternoon, nothing but Remus on his mind.

*** 

He was two days away from his next deposit, and though he knew he could get anything he wished from Marauders, he chose to walk by that day. It was just better that way. James was kind, and he appreciated having a group of people who knew how dreadful it was to live with Severus Snape, but to capitalise on their charity went beyond what Remus was comfortable doing.

So he turned round the corner toward the flat.

It was there he caught sight of Sirius. He was sat on an empty wooden palette with his knee crooked up, head to the side. His hair was out of the tie, half falling in his face, a lit cigarette clenched between his teeth, and perched against his thigh was a book. His hand was moving over the page, a charcoal pencil gripped between his fingers as he shaded.

Remus was too far away to get a look at it, but it was just his luck this gorgeous man was also an artist. He shivered, and though he knew it was probably best to walk away, he tugged his threadbare jumper closer round his middle and stepped into the alley. There was a foul smell from the bins, but he paid it no mind as he crunched along the pavement and stopped a few feet from where Sirius’ leg was hanging over the edge of the palette.

“Er. Hello.” Remus scratched at the back of his head, but Sirius took no notice of him. Remus gave a cough, then said it again. “Hello. Er. Sirius?”

Still nothing.

He nearly turned, but a gust of wind came blowing by, knocking Sirius back a little, and he looked up, his eyes wide with surprise. The cigarette dropped from his teeth, landing on his arm, and he let out a yelp, shaking it off.

Darting forward, Remus reached out and brushed it far away, giving it a good stamp into the ground, and when he looked up, Sirius was blushing and pushing his hair back away from his face.

“Je regrette,” he said, feeling horribly embarrassed that he was even standing there. “I er…sorry, I mean. If I startled you.”

Sirius’ face scrunched up and he made a sort of distressed noise in the back of his throat. Remus wasn’t entirely sure what was happening until Sirius flipped his sketchbook to a clean page and scribbled something out. When he finished, he handed it off to Remus.

‘Sorry. No good at speech-reading. Did James mention?’

Remus went over the words, then looked up at Sirius. “Sorry I…” He stopped when Sirius gestured at the pencil and paper. Remus wasn’t thick, but it did take him a moment. “Oh. Oh I…” Then he scribbled down on the paper. ‘You cannot hear? I can’t remember the word in English.’

Sirius read it, then huffed a laugh. ‘James didn’t tell you? Not even Fred or George? Or Tonks?’

Remus read the page, then shook his head, his blush surely a deep purple by now. ‘Sorry. No one say a word.’

‘Gits.’

Remus laughed and shrugged. ‘I wanted to say hi. I did not meant to interrupt your drawing.’

Sirius read the page, then huffed, shaking his head and waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. He then pointed a finger at his eye, then at Remus, then at the sketchbook and after a second, Remus caught on.

“Ah oui! Yes. I would…” He stopped, but it was clear by Sirius’ expression he was getting the words. Sirius beckoned Remus to sit down on the palette next to him, and he quickly began to flip through the pages near the very front of the book.

Most were of James and a woman with a smattering of freckles across her cheeks. Some of Fred and George. Tonks as well, which he rather enjoyed as she was very expressive and quiet pretty. Then as Sirius turned the page, there was a folded up one. Before Remus could ask about it, however, the wind gusted up again, and it took the page down the alley, toward the street.

Sirius let out a distressed noise, and Remus immediately hopped to his feet, going after it. He could hear Sirius on his heels, but he was quicker. He leapt when he saw it perched at the kerb, and managed to stamp down on it with the corner of his shoe.

Reaching down, he picked it up with a triumphant grin and turned to Sirius. Instead of seeing the baker, however, he just managed to catch the greasy sneer of his flatmate before Snape bodily shoved him back. Remus’ foot missed the edge of the kerb and he went toppling into the street. He twisted, to try and save himself, but his head hit the pavement hard. His vision swam and far off he heard the blaring of a horn.

Tires screeched and he thought, well this must be it, then. This is how I die. Fitting seeing as car crashes took his parents separately.

But before solid metal could collide with his body, he was yanked back by firm hands. When he was able to right his vision, he was lying against the far wall to the side of Marauders, and Sirius was slapping and twisting his fingers in angry sign in Snape’s face.

Snape was sneering, and to Remus’ great surprise, Snape was responding in kind. The very same language Sirius was using.

But he couldn’t think much on it. His head was pounding and there was a thick, warm trickle down his neck. His fingers came away sticky and rust coloured. “Merde,” he swore, and his voice was weak.

He’d had worse though. He wasn’t concussed. He knew all the signs for that and mostly he would just be head-achy and sore for a few days. But before he could stand on his own, hands were pulling him up and he was staring into the concerned face of Sirius. His look said, ‘Are you okay?’

Remus nodded, trying to push him off, but Sirius gave him a firm shake of his head. He gestured for Remus to wait as he darted inside, and returned a moment later, beckoning Remus along the street.

The paper was still clutched in his hand, so Remus shoved it into his pocket before following the baker down the street, round a corner, to a doorway which led upstairs. The second floor held six doors, and one of which Sirius opened into a small flat.

“Yours?” Remus asked.

Sirius squinted at his mouth, then nodded and pointed to himself with a grin. He then pointed sharply at the sofa for Remus to sit, which he did. He went into the back room, and returned with a wet flannel, one of those emergency packs where you crush it and it turns cold, and a couple of plasters which would only do a little good as only part of the gash was on his exposed skin.

But Remus sat patient and quiet as Sirius patched him up. He was flushed all over again, and he even noticed a small pink tinge to Sirius’ own cheeks.

When the other man was finished, he sat back with a huff, made a few signs, then jumped up and walked out of the room. It was all very awkward, if Remus was being honest with himself.

When Sirius came back, he had a small whiteboard and black marker, and presented it with a little flourish. Remus couldn’t help a small laugh as Sirius hopped back up on the sofa, curling his legs under him.

‘Better?’

Remus smiled at the flourish of letters, and smiled wider when Sirius handed the marker out to him. ‘Much. Merci.’

Sirius eyes went wide, and he let out a sort of ‘aha’ noise. ‘French,’ he wrote. ‘I had trouble understanding your lips.’

Remus brushed across his mouth with an absent gesture. ‘Sorry,’ he wrote. ‘I didn’t think.’

Sirius brushed him off with a playful elbow nudging Remus in the side, and he gestured for Remus to wait. He jumped up and then paused by a short doorway and made a gesture with his thumb and forefinger pinched together, and his other three fingers sticking up. He twisted his thumb and forefinger toward his mouth, and it took Remus a second watching that and Sirius lips sort of form a word.

“Tea?” he asked aloud.

Sirius nodded, grinning.

“Oh ah. Yes.”

Sirius nodded, then rushed out and was gone several minutes. Remus heard a kettle whistling, then a few moments later the long-haired artist returned with a tray. It held cups, a few tins, and a plate of some sort of pastry Remus couldn’t identify.

Sirius laid everything out, then offered the tea. Remus chose chamomile, knowing after his stress and the potential to trigger a fit later from the crack on the head, the herbal could only help. Sirius took his time filling the infusers and steeping everything. He offered honey, then pushed the plate of pastry toward Remus.

Feeling uncomfortable, Remus hesitated. Sirius made another gesture, a finger sliding across another. Then he tapped all his fingers against his mouth. When Remus still looked perplexed, he snatched up the whiteboard.

‘Go on, try it. I made them myself. My own recipe.’

Remus could hardly say no to that, so he did, and his eyes widened. He quickly took up the marker and scribbled, ‘Amazing. How do you sign that?’

Sirius grinned, then took his forefinger and flicked it down from his mouth, ending in a thumbs-up. He then wrote, ‘Tastes good.’

Remus repeated the sign a few times, then wrote, ‘Thank you.’

Sirius repeated that in sign too. And Remus copied.

And that’s how it went. It was all small talk and tea and picking up a few signs here and there. Sirius helped Remus get the hang of the alphabet a little. Showed him the sign names for James—the sign for deer, and his own which was the sign for star. Then Lily—flower which Remus found fitting even though he’d never met her.

Then Sirius showed him his art. Canvas after canvas not hung, just sort of stuck beside the wall turned away from the main room so no one could see without Sirius’ permission. It was very…fitting, Remus realised.

And it was all well and good until things started to get a bit wonky. His face started to feel off, a bit numb. There was a slight hum in his ears, the taste of metal in his mouth. He lost a few minutes at one point when Sirius was refreshing the hot water and that’s when he knew it was coming.

Panicked, Remus scribbled on the whiteboard. ‘So sorry, must run. See you later?’

He was gone before Sirius could openly protest. He made it to his flat, behind his door before he collapsed. He knew he was being reckless, and if anything were to happen to him, he could die. But in the back of his mind he thought perhaps he’d rather that than Snape, or God forbid Sirius, see him empty his bladder all over himself, or lie there like a drooling mess.

It was his lot in life. A terrible one at that. But it was his own.

*** 

Sirius was perplexed by the way Remus had run out. He thought it had gone quite well. But there it was. Remus scribbled the note and hurried off.

Maybe he was coming on too strong? Although it might have been something else as well. Remus started to look a bit peaky right toward the end there, sallow skin and shaking hands. Sirius felt a prickle of fear when he realised it could very well be a symptom of head injury.

In fact, he was so nervous he rushed down, hopped on his motorbike, and navigated the streets reckless and too fast until he got to James and Lily’s. James wasn’t home of course, as Sirius had scarpered out on his shift without real warning. But Lily was inside on the sofa reading one of the hundreds of childbirth books James had bought.

‘You ok?’ Lily asked immediately when she saw Sirius was alone and looking worried.

‘You Snape friend?’

Lily’s face fell. ‘Please, Sirius. No fight. Please. He I not talk past six month.’

Sirius waved that away. ‘No. I need address. Snape flat. You know?’

Lily frowned and she leant over the back of the sofa, glowering at him. ‘Why? SIRIUS ORION BLACK.’

He knew Lily was not one to mess with if she full-named him. He sank down into a chair and with care, he explained the entire story. From how he’d met Remus to that git Snivellus shoving him into the street. ‘He almost die.’

Lily rolled her eyes. ‘Dramatic.’ Her crooked finger tapped on the side of her chest.

Sirius huffed and stamped his foot on the ground. ‘Please. He injure head. I need address. Please.’

Lily eased herself up from the sofa and walked out of the room. She returned a moment later with the address scribbled down, but instead of handing it to him, she tucked it into her bra strap and fixed him with a firm glare. ‘You not fight SNAPE. You not talk SNAPE. REMUS only.’

Sirius put his hand over his heart and gave her a small bow to show how absolutely serious he was. She was apprehensive, but she was one who couldn’t resist his puppy-dog eyes and eventually she gave it over. He grabbed her by the shoulder, kissed her hard on the cheek and said very softly into her ear, “Thank you, Lily. You are a treasure.”

She flushed and shoved him off. ‘Go. I not give address. Remember.’

Sirius nodded, vowing without a word or sign that he wouldn’t sell her out. If he ran into Snivellus, for all the stupid tosser would know, Remus gave it over.

And luckily it wasn’t far. He arrived and a short woman with curly hair let him in. He used his tiny notebook to scribble his reason for being there, but she made it clear she hadn’t seen Remus. Sirius was shown his door but after knocking a solid five minutes he gave up. He was worried, so he left a note under the door and was off.

All he could do was wait and hope the adorable Frenchman showed up at the café soon.

*** 

Remus came to, tidied himself up, had a long shower, then decided to head to the laundry to wash his now-soiled trousers. As he came back into his room, he noticed something on the floor, though. A folded up notebook paper.

With nimble fingers, he plucked it off the ground and opened it. In the familiar scrawl he’d been using all afternoon, he saw his name.

Remus,  
You left so fast I thought I’d check on you. Got a bit worried, you ran out so fast. Hope it wasn’t something I’ve said. I knocked, but no answer. I hope all is well. Come by the café soon if you can.  
Sirius

Remus sighed and gathered up his trousers, and it was then he noticed something in the pocket. The sketch he’d rescued from the street, the one Sirius had been drawing. He pulled the crumpled up paper from the pocket and with a careful hand, smoothed it out.

To his surprise, the sketch was of him. It was an amazing likeness. Remus was seated near the window, head tilted down. It looked like it was raining out, and his hands were curled round a paper cup of tea. Sirius had got every detail down. From the scars on Remus’ temples and forehead, to the tattered holes in his jumper. His attention to detail was startling.

It was…terribly unexpected. Kind, however. But Remus was conflicted. He lived a solitary life for his own reasons, and he knew getting any closer to Sirius might mean things would happen. He’d asked for a job at Marauders, but he was only half serious about it. If he took it, how long until they found out he was…different?

Perhaps they wouldn’t mind so much. No one treated Sirius any differently. But then again, Sirius was Deaf, not epileptic. He was hardly taken out of commission, prone to soiling himself, or falling to bouts of memory loss where—more often than not—he couldn’t remember even the most basic instructions.

No. It was just not the time for it. Remus knew once he became too much trouble to deal with, they’d distance themselves. They’d freeze him out. It happened before, and he just didn’t think he could take it again.

Leaving the note and sketch on the bed, Remus gathered his meagre belongings and headed down to have everything washed. For the moment no one was there, so he took refuge with his off-brand mp3 player and short playlist. Classical. He had a selection of music which was soothing after a fit, something a childhood doctor suggested. It was good for the brain, he was told. Helped to get him back on track.

Not all music did that. Some was too upsetting. Heavy techno, and the newer pop beats could be triggers if he wasn’t careful.

He had Haydn playing at a low level, and he was just starting to put his clothes in when his soiled pants were yanked from his fingers. It was Snape, with Malfoy at his heels, and he was sneering at Remus.

“Good lord, are these…?” He sniffed them, then threw them on the ground at Remus’ feet. Malfoy was snorting into his hand, and Remus felt his cheeks heat up. “You really are…I don’t even have words for it, Lupin.”

“Why have you come here?” Remus asked tiredly as he picked up the fallen clothing and stuffed it into the washer. He added soap, then started the machine. Snape was still there, and Remus let out another tired sigh.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away from those idiots at the café,” Snape said after a long moment. “Not that I expect you to understand even the most basic instructions.”

Remus’ eyes narrowed. “I’m not sure why you care.”

Malfoy, bored of the entire exchange, walked out leaving Snape and Lupin facing off. “I most certainly do not care. But the last friend I warned off them didn’t listen to me and most unfortunately her life was ruined.”

Remus shook his head. “Noted. Have a good night, Severus.”

As no one ever used his name, Snape flinched, but said nothing as he turned on his heel and marched out. Remus was only just fighting back his mortification at Snape going through his soiled clothes, but really, in the end, what did it matter?

*** 

Two days went by, and not a word or sighting from Remus. Sirius was near beside himself, but warned off of going back to the flat. James insisted it would only stir up further trouble with Snape if they ran into him, and when James pointed out it could affect Remus, Sirius agreed to calm down. But he was far from okay with Remus’ noted absence.

He was always round. Every afternoon until the incident outside. 

Maybe Remus had seen the drawing and was upset. Maybe he didn’t swing Sirius’ way and now he was afraid Sirius was lusting after him. Which was true, but Sirius did not, by any means, chase straight boys. He’d learnt his lesson with James ages ago. And he could easily get over feelings so long as he knew where he stood.

But Remus was so difficult to read. And really, Sirius hardly knew him at all.

Frustrated, Sirius went outside for a smoke, and as he leant against the side of the building, an unpleasant sight crossed his path. Snape walking with a handful of students. He had a book tucked under his arm, and he pulled up the corner of his mouth in a grimace.

Sirius nearly let him pass by, but it wasn’t good enough. His fingers reached out without really thinking about it, and grabbed Snape by the sleeve of his jacket. Though he couldn’t hear it, he knew Snape was growling and spitting insults, but he chose to ignore it.

‘Where Remus?’

Snape’s eyebrows flew up, and though Sirius expected another insult, he did not expect the look of triumph on Snivellus’ face. ‘He not here?’

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and tried to decipher the look. But Snape was also hard to read. His greasy hair and hooked nose were too distracting. Eventually Sirius dropped his arms. ‘No.’

‘Maybe he listen. Maybe he believe me.’

‘Believe you?’

‘I warn REMUS. Stay away. You, JAMES bad. You, JAMES destroy REMUS. You, JAMES past destroy LILY.’

Sirius let out an angry growl, the vibrations shaking his entire body, but as he launched himself at Snape, a hand curled round the back of his jumper and hauled him back. He turned his head to see both Lily and James there shouting something at Snivellus who was smirking, daring Sirius to come over and punch his face bloody, but eventually he walked away and Sirius was left panting through his anger.

‘Why? Why stop me?’

James held his hands up in a calming manner, then beckoned Sirius inside to the office. He shut the door, pointed to the seat, ordering Sirius to sit down.

‘You fight Snivellus,’ he used the old sign name Sirius had given Snape of Ugly—not very clever, but effective, ‘you trouble maybe. You need work. Not fight.’

Sirius rubbed his hand down his face, then proceeded to tell James what Snape had said. James already knew about the strange way Remus had run out, but had he not come back because of Sirius? Or had Remus taken Snape seriously? Sirius desperately wished he knew Remus a little better.

‘Tonks say REMUS want job. REMUS come back, he job here.’

Sirius’ eyes went wide. ‘No sign.’

James shrugged. ‘You ok? He no sign, you ok?’

Sirius nodded his head, almost in a frantic way. ‘Me ok. Me ok,’ he exaggerated the signs so James understood just how okay he would be with it.

James laughed. ‘You wish REMUS come here.’

Sirius snorted and hugged his friend. “Thank you,” he said aloud. James flushed a little, and shrugged it off. For now, they had to get back to work, but should Remus come back, Sirius knew he’d make it right.

*** 

Payday. It was a good day for Remus. Where just for a little while, even after paying all his fees and the rest of his bills, he didn’t have to worry so much. He went to the shops to stock up on non-perishable food to get him through the month. He did it frugally, in spite of his decision to stay away from Marauders, because in the back of his mind he still wanted to be able to afford that little bit of sanctuary.

And honestly he should start looking for a job.

He’d managed to avoid walking by most of the last week, but today was inevitable. He said a little prayer he could do so without seeing Sirius, because if that was the case, he wasn’t sure he could resist going in.

And so far so good. He’d managed to get past the front doors.

Only it didn’t last. He felt the breeze of the door swinging open, and the smell of coffees and fresh baked things. And a hand closed round his arm, a sweet voice calling his name.

“Remus! Thank God.” It was Tonks, and she spun him round. “I’ve talked to James and he said we’re to hire you immediately. He just needs your CV and papers but come on. I’ve been trying to catch you all week.”

Remus uttered a few vague words of protest, but could hardly argue with the woman dragging him inside, behind the counter, and finally through the doors to the baking area. It was a massive work space with big ovens, a table in the centre covered in flour, and two chairs where James and Sirius were both sat at, signing to each other.

Remus froze as Tonks raised her hands and began to fill them in. James was smiling, but Sirius looked far more cautious, making Remus even more self-conscious than he was before.

“Go on,” Tonks said, nudging Remus with her elbow. “I’ll terp for you for now.”

Remus wasn’t sure what that meant, but James and Sirius rose from their chairs to lean against the baking table. “So,” James said whilst Tonks signed, “Tonks said you were interested in a job.”

Remus meant to protest. He should have, but he found himself nodding. “Ah oui. I mean, yes I…could use work. My monthly funds are…”

“Say no more,” James said, holding up his hand. He turned to Sirius and signed something, and Sirius signed back. This went on for a few moments, and though Remus wondered what they were saying, he didn’t ask Tonks to fill him in. Instead he shuffled his feet awkwardly until James turned back with a grin. “Sirius’ll fill you in. Tonks get back to the counter. He’s okay with writing for now but we should sort out some sign classes. I have to dash though, Lily’s expecting me. Good to have you on board, Remus. Get Sirius your papers tomorrow and I’ll put you on the payroll.”

James breezed out, and Remus was left there with Sirius as Tonks went back to the front. “Mon dieu,” Remus breathed, “il est tres mystérieux.”

Sirius huffed a nearly silent laugh as he ran to fetch paper and pencil. It was from his sketch book, which Remus felt bad about since he knew they were expensive. But Sirius had no qualms about scribbling everything down. ‘Sorry about James. He gets over excited.’

Remus laughed and shook his head, taking the charcoal pencil in his hand. ‘I was not expecting this. But thank you.’

Sirius nodded and cuffed Remus on the shoulder. ‘Were you speaking French just then? A moment ago?’

Remus flushed. ‘Yes. Sorry I forget.’

Sirius waved his hand, then made grabby hands for the pencil. ‘I like it. Very sexy. French move the mouth different. All lips and tongue.’

Remus’ face went even hotter and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he fought back the urge to leave. Because he was starting to very much like Sirius. In spite of not really knowing him. But it meant Sirius could—and would—get close to him. Especially working here. And the rejection when he found out would be too much for Remus to bear.

But he could also use the money. And they all seemed to like him. And they all knew, on some level, what it was like to deal with Snape. So maybe, for a little while, he could make it work.

*** 

In spite of his excitement to have Moony on board, as Sirius was now calling him in his head, the Frenchman seemed extremely apprehensive and nervous. Sirius had been sure the other man was interested, but now he was closed off. He hurried home as quick as he was allowed, though promised to bring his CV and documents by after classes the next day.

Not sure what to think, Sirius decided he’d take it easy on the new kid. He wanted him to feel comfortable. It was clear by his wardrobe in tatters and by his skin hanging off his bones, he wanted for quite a bit. And it broke Sirius’ heart. Had he not had James in his life, he might have been the same when his parents chucked him out on his arse.

But it was more than pity, because Moony had something else about him. A sort of quiet reserve, maybe driven by pain, which made him appreciate kind gestures. And there was a mischievous humour behind those amber eyes which Sirius could more than appreciate.

For the moment he decided to just let Tonks take over, show Remus the ropes, and Sirius would figure it out. At the very least he got a nice view of Remus’ backside and whilst it might not be a good buggering every night, the wank material was appreciated.

It was a fortnight after Remus had started working when George took a seat across from Sirius. The café was closed up, and Sirius was using the down time whilst Tonks and Fred taught Remus the closing routine. George, who’d come back to pick up his brother after the shift, invited himself to Sirius’ table.

‘What draw?’

Sirius, who for the first time was not drawing various pictures of Moony doing average work-day things, turned his sketchbook toward George. It was a toddler with James’ wild hair, and Lily’s big eyes, sitting on the back of a motorbike with Sirius driving. The baby was not tied down, feet up in the air, head tilted back, laughing.

‘I give Lily.’

George shook his head, a laugh on his face. ‘Lily kill you.’

Sirius shrugged. He’d been tormenting her about all the things he’d be teaching her child once it was born, and this was just one of a series of drawings he’d done. One was a sketch of the baby sitting in a python tank at the zoo. Another was the baby climbing a massive willow tree. He was currently coming up with other ideas, but this was good enough for the moment.

George sat back and looked over at Remus who was talking with Tonks, and Sirius followed his gaze. He felt a flare of jealousy in his gut, in spite of knowing Tonks didn’t swing that way. Remus was getting on with her and the twins. And was amicable enough with Sirius though the language barrier kept them from really getting to know each other. That and Sirius being confined to the back.

‘I go now. Fred go now?’

Sirius waved him off, and watched George’s mouth curve round his brother’s name. Fred popped up with a grin, grabbed his things, and was out. Ten minutes later, Tonks came round the counter.

‘I date now. I go? Remus okay finish.’

Sirius felt his face go a little hot. It meant he’d have to stick round with just Remus. Just him and Remus. And he hadn’t been nervous about it before, when he thought he had a good in. But now…

‘Ok. You go.’

Tonks dropped a kiss on his cheek before calling something out to Remus. From behind the counter, Remus looked nervous, but waved his goodbye, then gave Sirius a sheepish smile. He went back to closing up the till, turning off the machines, switching off the lights to the pastry counter, and eventually putting all the dirty towels in the laundry bin.

Remus came out and with very hesitant hands, pointed at himself, then curled his hands into fists with his thumbs up and circled them away from each other. ‘I done.’

Sirius’ eyebrows shot up and he fought back the urge to just start signing any and everything to this man. But it was obvious he’d learnt the basics to get by at the shop. Sirius switched pages on his book to write. ‘You getting the hang of it?’

Remus peered over, then nodded his head.

‘You want to eat before we go? I can make sandwiches. You look starved.’

Remus started to hesitate, but Sirius was quite good at getting what he wanted simply by turning away so he couldn’t see a person protesting. He hurried into the kitchen and whipped up a couple sandwiches. As an afterthought, he went to the espresso machine and decided a couple of decaff lattes were in order.

Glancing over, he saw Moony walking into the toilet, so he brewed the espresso, steamed the milk, then grabbed two mugs. He poured them together, then took the dredges of the espresso to draw the art. An intricate moon and stars with swirls around for Moony. And the face of a dog for Sirius.

He put the sandwiches on the table, then went back for the espresso, and when Moony had come out, Sirius was waiting. He made a noise in the back of his throat of greeting, shoving the cup at Moony who was watching with wide eyes.

Sirius watched Moony’s lips curve round the question, “You made this?”

Sirius grinned and pointed to himself. He was rather proud of his artistic ability, but when Moony sat, he smiled, giving the cup a small push away.

Remus grabbed for the sketchbook to scribble under Sirius’ previous writing. ‘Sorry, I can’t have caffeine.’

Sirius’ eyebrows flew up. That was new. A barista in a coffee shop who can’t have coffee? ‘It’s decaff,’ he wrote.

Remus nodded appreciatively. ‘Sorry. None at all.’

Sirius jumped up then, to Remus’ wide protests, and quickly fetched him tea. Chamomile, which he was having before. Remus was pink in the cheeks, but accepted it with grace and poise. They ate in relative silence, occasionally jotting down questions.

By the time they were cleaned up and ready to go, however, it had begun to rain. He saw Moony’s lips curving round swears in French, which only endeared Remus to him more. Shy boys with sailor vocabularies were one of his weaknesses. His many, many weaknesses.

Then he realised the issue. Remus’ jumper was threadbare, and nothing else to protect himself from the rain. Remus started forward in spite of it, but Sirius caught his arm. He grabbed his sketchpad. ‘Come to mine. I’ve got a jacket or brolly.’

Remus started to protest, but Sirius again looked away, though he slipped his hand into Moony’s lest he get away. He locked up with his other, and they made a mad dash for the flat which wasn’t far.

Up the stairs, they were back in Sirius’ and he was digging round the cupboard near the kitchen. Eventually he came up with an old warm coat and umbrella which was a little worse for the wear, but would do in the pinch. He handed them out, and shoved them at Remus’ chest when the Frenchman tried to refuse.

“Go on,” he said aloud.

Remus was visibly startled by hearing Sirius’ voice. Sirius rarely went verbal unless it was around James and Lily as they almost exclusively signed for him, so speaking their language from time to time didn’t put him out.

And it didn’t now either, because he rather liked Remus who was trying. And now blushing and taking the offered items.

He slipped on the coat, and Sirius chuckled at the sleeves going past his fingers. Remus hiked them up to grab the umbrella in one hand. The other came up to his mouth, all four fingers touching just under his lip, and he drew them down. ‘Thank you.’

Sirius flushed happily and waved the thanks away. ‘See you tomorrow?’ he signed, hoping Remus had got that far at least.

It appeared he had, because he nodded. He turned for the door, but out of nowhere, he spun on his heel, grabbed Sirius by the shoulder and placed a kiss on the side of his mouth. Sirius was stunned, unable to do anything as Remus dashed out, and he felt his head spinning.

Maybe there was something there. Maybe. And right now he allowed himself to hope.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've done it! I can't believe I finished it this fast. But I couldn't have it hanging over my head. Anyhow this is the end of the story for now. Might do another in this universe sometime. Wolfstar is just so adorable. Any questions let me know, or if I've missed any vital tags.
> 
> Anyhow I hope you've liked the fic. Not sure if I'll be writing in fanfic much, but who knows. I love prompts and if one catches my fancy I will most certainly give it a go xx

Tonks quirked an eyebrow up at the jacket, but Remus didn’t explain and she didn’t ask. She did, however, follow him to the side of the café, and listened intently as he bowed his head to beg her a favour.

“How’d you learn to sign?”

“Learnt it my whole life. Sirius was always coming by mine. His parents were crap but my mum’s great. She was always taking him in after his dad would…” She stopped. “Not my story to tell. Either way, Deaf cousin, you know? You just sort of pick it up.”

“And the twins?”

“Deaf parents, and some brothers and a sister, I think. They didn’t mention? Plus George is Hard of Hearing.”

Remus felt terrible for never noticing, but he really didn’t ask a lot of questions. “Same with James, was it?”

“Ah I think he took his BSL levels with a tutor.” She crossed her arms, leaning against the counter. “You asking for a reason?”

Remus shrugged one shoulder. “I think I would like to know more than,” he made a C shape with his thumb and forefinger, tipping it toward his mouth for the sign of coffee. Then swiped his finger across his open, sideways palm for latte. “And more than good morning and good night. I’m sure he’s getting tired of having to write things down.”

Tonks looked pleased. “You could take BSL levels.”

Remus gulped. He could, but he had no idea the cost of taking them, and he’d no room in his Uni schedule for it. Not to mention learning in a classroom was difficult enough. “The thing is…”

“Why don’t you come to mine, hmm? I don’t live far. I could catch you up. I’m shite at teaching but I think we could work it out. Maybe get the twins in on it? Even James if he’s keen.” She was sounding excited and Remus was feeling more nervous.

He was also reeling with his embarrassment at kissing Sirius the way he had. But no one had ever been so kind with such an unassuming presence. Sirius hadn’t done it because he pitied Remus, or because he wanted something. He just hadn’t wanted Remus to be cold and wet. Remus was falling in love and it was so terrible.

“Well my studies,” he said and hesitated. “Maybe a few nights a week?”

“Just say the word, mon ami.” The phrase was butchered by her English accent, but he liked it and it made him smile. He blushed when Tonks leant down to kiss his cheek, and when he looked up, Sirius was there watching from the doorway to the kitchens. His eyes were narrowed, but his face passive, and Remus forced himself to turn away. He didn’t want to give anything away yet. Not until he could properly express himself.

However long it took.

*** 

Sirius was pounding dough in the back, and didn’t realise how loud he was being until George came in, waving his hand to get Sirius attention.

‘What doing? Angry?’

Sirius looked at the massacred ball of dough and dropped his head, letting out a sigh. ‘Sorry. I loud?’

‘Customers scared. Think murder maybe?’

Sirius rolled his eyes as George chuckled and slid onto one of the stools near the baking table. ‘What problem? You feel how?’

Licking his lips, he peered through the doors to see Remus and Tonks waiting on customers, and his stomach clenched a little. ‘Tonks date woman?’

George shrugged. ‘Tonks date a lot. Past woman, past man. Why?’

‘Tonks REMUS date?’

George’s eyes widened, and he barked a laugh. ‘No. REMUS fancy you.’

Sirius shook his head. Yes there had been the kiss, and yes Remus was still wearing the blasted jacket like it was a damned limb, but Remus and Tonks had been inseparable for the past two weeks now. His head was spinning at his inability to figure this damned person out.

‘Not fancy me. I try. Nothing.’ He was a little more forceful than necessary as he pinched his thumb to forefinger making an ‘o’, and shaking them.

George’s sigh was very visible as he clapped his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. ‘You trust me?’

Sirius nodded, though he pulled a face. Because George was as big a prankster and even bigger bullshitter than he was at times. Or perhaps not bigger, but damn close.

‘You patient. Ok?’

Not like Sirius had a choice in the matter, as Remus was giving him next to nothing.

*** 

Things were great until three weeks later during his day off when Remus fell to a fit as he was walking from the kitchen to his bedroom. It was a bad one, snuck up on him without any real warning, and when he woke, he was being slapped across the face by a dark-haired figure he didn’t recognise.

Things were foggy, confusing. He couldn’t remember where he was, only the vague sense he needed to be somewhere. The person standing over him was sneering, pulling an ugly face and saying something, but his brain couldn’t process the language.

Letting out a groan, he turned to the side and promptly vomited all over the carpet.

Ten minutes later, things came back. Snape, his brain supplied as it began to process English again. He was covered in vomit and other things, and ached for a shower. Snape was sitting a few paces away, arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“Explain, Lupin.”

Rubbing his face, Remus gave him the bare bones. “I’ve epilepsy. I have fits, but medication keeps them under control.”

“And are you often reduced to a squalling infant, shitting in your pants the way you did?”

Remus wanted to die right then. To have done in front of Snape would have been almost poetic. Instead he gathered himself up and dragged himself to the shower. He washed off, changed clothes, and set about cleaning the carpet until it was ten shades lighter than the rest.

He gathered his things and went down to the laundry to wash them, and when he got back upstairs, Snape was nowhere to be seen. Remus felt a sinking in his gut. Would Snape be sitting on this information? Would everyone know by week’s end?

He went into his room for a kip, and woke near tea. He had to take his medication, and went to put water on his face before going to the kitchen, but as he turned the knob to walk in, he was hit by a waft of steam from the shower, and a nearly-naked Severus Snape.

Lupin jumped back, garbling out an apology as he shut the door, but it was too late. He’d seen nearly all of Snape. And what Snape had always been hiding under those long jumpers. He was scarred, badly. From just below his throat, down his torso and across his left arm. His bicep was much smaller than his right one, and looked like it had been hastily stitched back together.

What the hell had happened to him?

Snape found him twenty minutes later, and grabbed him by the collar. “If you say a word,” he hissed through yellowed teeth.

“Why would I, of all people, say a thing?”

“Even to your disgusting little friends,” Snape warned.

Remus nodded. “Not a whisper.”

The long, bony fingers released him, and Snape took a step back. “If anything, take it as a warning, Lupin. Don’t get in over your head with that lot.”

He was gone, leaving Remus alone.

Two days later, James was there as they closed up shop, and looked excited. His hands were flying, far too fast for Remus to catch on to, and Fred nudged the Frenchman. “He’s inviting us over for drinks and pizza. Match’s on. Arsenal. James once fancied he’d play professionally but he’s too crap for that.”

James turned, shoving two fingers at Fred who snorted. “Oy, I was just too beautiful and talented. They could never afford me.”

“Bum knee,” Fred whispered. “You coming?”

“Course he’s coming,” James said. When Remus looked like he was going to protest, James gave his apron a tug. “Don’t be an idiot, Moony.”

Remus frowned at the nickname, his cheeks going a bit pink, and his gaze snapped over to Sirius who looked betrayed and horrified. “Ah Padfoot, you started it.” James rounded on Remus. “He gave you the nickname.” His fingers spelt out the signs after he spoke and Sirius stormed off. James went after him, and Remus shot a helpless look at the twins.

“Sirius gives nicknames to people he likes. Calls James prongs,” Fred did the sign and Remus recognised it. “Calls us Gred and Feorge because he thinks he’s clever but he isn’t. Guess yours is Moony.”

Remus’ eyes widened. “What for?”

The twins shared a look, then shrugged and said at the same time, “Don’t ask us, we just work here.”

Going round to James’ was a singular experience. It was clear he had money, as his flat was massive compared to most, and decorated with Lily’s impeccable taste. Remus had only met her a few times, but each had been more pleasant than the last. She held her own, of course, fiery and not to be messed with, but too kind. She immediately took to Remus and kept inviting him to dinner which he often declined.

Remus was disappointed she wasn’t there, but James said she was out with her parents shopping for the baby, and wouldn’t be back until morning. James ordered pizzas and got rounds of beer for everyone as the game was put on. Remus noticed there were captions on the telly, scrolling along the bottom almost sluggish compared to the commentary, but Sirius didn’t seem fussed.

From time to time, the group would go totally non-verbal, but they’d remember Remus and quickly remedy it. Eventually though, he asked them to stop.

“Please, do what’s normal. I’m…” He stopped, then brought his hands up. ‘I learn. You sign. Please. No talk.’

He saw Sirius’ cheeks go pink and the smallest grin creep across his mouth. They seemed hesitant, but when Remus insisted again, they agreed. He reckoned it was the best way to learn, really. Being immersed in it.

A few hours in, Sirius excused himself outside, and Remus decided to take the opportunity to clear the air. They spoke very little, but it had been a while with Remus’ sign lessons, and he was getting it okay. He held slow, but decent, conversations with Tonks in only sign. If Sirius was patient with him, it would be okay. He hoped.

So ignoring the pointed looks of the Twins and James, he slipped out. Sirius had his back to the door, puffing on his cigarette, and he turned when Remus touched his arm. Sirius looked surprised to see him, but it blossomed into a smile.

‘Ok?’ He signed, then pointed to himself, hoping Sirius would understand what he was asking.

Sirius’ nod was enthusiastic. ‘You have fun?’

Remus smiled. ‘Not…’ He searched for the sign, but wasn’t sure he knew it so he fingerspelt, ‘FANCY SPORT. JAMES nice. TWINS nice. You…’ he stopped himself, feeling his cheeks heat up.

Sirius tugged on the sleeve of the jacket. ‘Look nice. You wear a lot.’ He emphasised the last sign.

Remus ducked his head, but Sirius took him by the chin, lifting his head up and Remus felt his breath catch in his throat. ‘Warm. I not…’ He stopped, hating that his vocabulary was so pathetic still. ‘Have more. ANOTHER.’

Sirius’ face fell a little, but it was unbothered as he grabbed the front of the jacket and pulled Remus closer. ‘Ok?’

Remus nodded. He shouldn’t be doing this. He would be so hurt when Sirius learnt the truth and ditched him. It would hurt too much. But by the gods did it feel good to have this man so close. A man he thought of far too often, and wondered too much during the day what it would feel like to kiss him.

And oh, he was finding that out now. Lips were crashing down on his, and Sirius was moaning just a little in the back of his throat as their mouths collided. The cigarette fell to the ground and arms were wrapped round each other.

It was better than Remus had ever imagined. He was left breathless and wanting more, but at the same time so satisfied. His eyes looked up, meeting those fierce blue ones, asking if it was okay. And it was.

“Ah oui,” Remus breathed, and Sirius grinned, touching the corner of Remus’ mouth with the tip of his finger.

“R-ee-muh.” The word wasn’t perfect. The S was forgotten at the end, R muted, ee just a little too long. Btu by god in a way it was so perfect. Remus shivered and kissed Sirius again.

When they finally broke apart, Remus was flushed and hot, but shivering. Sirius was still holding the front of the jacket as though Remus might disappear if he let go. The gesture sent a wave of unfamiliar emotion through Remus. He was so unused to people wanting to be around him, wanting to keep him there.

‘Come mine later?’

Remus’ eyebrows went up and he knew what Sirius was asking. Could he, though? He’d taken his medication for the night, and he was feeling good. No symptoms, and god did he want to. Perhaps it would end ugly, but maybe he could give himself this. Maybe, just maybe, he could have something just for him. Just for now.

*** 

Sirius wasn’t sure why he was being so damn bold, but he was tired of waiting round. Tired of guessing whether or not Remus wanted him. So he went for it. And the reward was beautiful. Remus kissed unrepentantly, desperately, his neediness and insecurity present but giving way to something more. He was demanding and so present.

His signs were sloppy and ridiculous, much like Sirius’ verbal skills, and god what a match they made. They fit together like puzzle pieces, Remus tucked into Sirius like he’d always belonged there and always would. Remus wore his heart on his sleeve. Sirius could see the hesitation when he asked Remus over, he saw a myriad of emotions play out on his face, but eventually it settled into desire and Sirius was ready to capitalise on that.

He’d never been one to settle down. He didn’t usually go for hearing people, in spite of his parents keeping him out of the Deaf community most of his life. He preferred people who understood what it was like to sit just outside of what the rest of the world considered normal.

He wanted someone who got his own version of it. His own normal.

And though Remus, for what Sirius could see, was just an average person—there was something more. Something that told Sirius the tawny-haired man just…just got it.

There was no regrets as he took Remus’ hand and they left James’ early. And he ignored the fluttering signs slagging them off as they hurried out the door. He could only imagine what the Twins and James were saying aloud, if their signs were anything to go by.

Remus was flushed bright red, but he was clinging to Sirius like a lifeline.

They made it to his flat quickly. Had to take the tube, but Remus was unbothered by it. They sat close, hands held tight, stealing glances from each other.

When they arrived, Sirius wasn’t sure how to proceed. Had this been any other date, he’d have ravished Remus right there against the door. But this was no ordinary date. And it was more than just having to see Remus at work. This wasn’t just Remus.

It was Moony. And he wanted him for more than a one-off. He cursed himself for a second. What had he been thinking? This was so damned presumptuous. And Remus had agreed as well. So what did that mean?

Just then, hesitant fingers curled round his own, and Sirius looked up slowly at the tawny-haired man. The amber eyes were wide, head cocked to the side, expression searching. He was lost. Sirius felt a chuckle vibrating against his throat as it escaped, and his free hand reached out to cup Remus’ cheek.

Ducking his head, Remus looked adorably shy which left Sirius with the desire to just wrap him up in a blanket and hold him forever.

Being one handed, Sirius pinched his fingers to his thumb, then pressed it to the side of Remus’ mouth. Remus might not have known the actual sign, Sirius couldn’t be sure, but he seemed to get it, because he gave a slow nod.

Sirius moved forward at a hesitant pace, giving Moony time to back away. But he didn’t. He curled his hands in the front of Sirius’ shirt and tugged him forward. There was a moment where it was all breath and a kind of anticipation vibrating through them, and then their lips met.

Sirius could feel Remus’ breath come out hard, like in surprise, through his nose as it ghosted across Sirius’ cheeks. Sirius hummed, feeling it trembling in his chest as he pushed himself closer. Remus grabbed on tighter. Sirius’ hands moved up to Moony’s hair and was surprised at just how soft those locks were. He twisted it round his fingers and Remus opened his mouth wider to Sirius.

Then it was over, just like it started. A slow separation and Sirius was standing back, though his hand was still resting on Remus’ shoulder. He tipped his pinched forefinger and thumb to his mouth. ‘Tea?’ He mouthed the word, though by now Remus had most certainly got those basic café signs.

‘Please,’ Remus replied with a careful hand, and seemed relieved for the typical British manners and requirement for the hot beverage regardless of the late hour. He moved to the sofa whilst Sirius took his time getting the cups.

All herbal. He remembered the no caffeine rule, and honestly he needed no stimulation right now.

When he got into the lounge, Remus was still waiting, but he looked nervous. Sirius snatched his whiteboard from the side table just in case. He set the tea tray down, then looked at the other man.

‘Nervous you? Scared? Want go home?’

Remus frowned, then signed, ‘Don’t understand. Sorry.’

Sirius smiled, trying to placate the other man who was clearly bothered by his poor signing ability, and grabbed the white board. ‘Are you okay? You want to go? You don’t have to stay.’

Remus read over the words, then shook his head hard. ‘Please. Want…STAY.’

Sirius felt warmth in his gut and they settled for silence and tea. The herbal mixture was soothing, calming, and before long Remus was pressed against him and they were holding hands again. It was so domestic, very unlike Sirius in so many ways, yet something he’d been craving for what felt like his entire life.

Perhaps not in the way he’d imagined it, but he couldn’t begin to wish it different.

Remus picked up the whiteboard and began to write. ‘They said you call me Moony.’

Sirius cheeks pinked. ‘NICKNAME.’

It took Remus a moment to put the letters together, and he laughed before writing, ‘I know what a nickname is. I just wondered…why?’

Sirius shrugged, then took the marker. ‘I liked it. Thought it was fitting.’ Setting the marker down, he pointed at himself and voiced, “Padfoot.” He appreciated the delighted flush Remus’ cheeks got. Grabbing the marker, he wrote, ‘Haven’t said yours yet. Is Moony like book or soon?’

Remus laughed before writing, ‘I’m French, so I may have it wrong. But I soon, I think. Moon Soon.’

Sirius threw his head back and howled with laughter. ‘James is going to have a huge laugh if I start voicing in a French accent. He’ll never let me live it down.’ Remus was chuckling along, but it died down when Sirius put his hand on the side of Remus’ throat, his thumb pressed near his lip. “Say. Please.”

Remus gulped, then his lips curved round the word, and Sirius felt the vibrations under his fingers. “Moony.”

Sirius copied him, remembering the right way to hold his tongue and purse his lips, and elongate the double ohs instead of shortening them. “Moony.” He raised his eyebrows as a way of asking, how was it?

He was rewarded with Remus all-but tackling him and kissing him hard. It was the most aggressive Remus had been, and it startled Sirius. Not that he wasn’t pleased, but he was curious, and it showed on his face when Remus pulled back.

The amber-eyed man grabbed the whiteboard to explain. ‘No one’s ever cared enough to give me a nickname before. It’s…nice. Thank you.’

Sirius felt a strange pain in the centre of his gut at the thought. No one had cared enough? Ever? At all?

Suddenly he didn’t want to progress into sex. Suddenly he wanted to know any and everything about this man and find out who had hurt him. Why was he so lonely? How could no one have ever cared? He didn’t give a sodding flying fuck about signs now. He wanted Remus to sign it, voice it, spell it, write it. Anything. Language would come in time but this… he needed it.

And after some prodding, Remus seemed willing to give some over to the pining artist.

*** 

Remus woke in the morning, nearly forgetting where he was. And there was a heavy arm round his waist and a nose nuzzled into the side of his neck, ghosting warm air across his skin. It took him a few moments to remember the night before.

The snogging and tea and conversation. They’d gone through two black markers and Remus had told Sirius so much. Not enough, he knew. Not what would drive him away. But about the death of his parents and the difficult time he had at school. Memory problems and too long on how awful Snape was back at his flat.

Sirius had shared his own past. Of his horrible parents forcing him into speech therapy, forcing him to be verbal. Trying to get him to assimilate into the hearing world where really, he was just a casual observer. It endeared Sirius to him more. Made hearing those bits of his voice that much more special because Sirius was giving him something he didn’t give to most people.

It was precious and wonderful.

And they’d snogged until they both got sleepy and then stripped down to boxers, climbed under Sirius’ duvet, and slept. Unassuming, wanting but no one presuming more should happen. It was…a treasure. Remus was falling in love. Utterly besotted and there was no turning back now.

When Sirius left him, his heart would be shattered.

But perhaps worth it for these stolen moments of comfort and belonging.

Sirius groaned after a moment, then one blue eye peered open and his mouth spread into a grin. His mouth curved round the word, ‘Hey,’ and Remus grinned, mindful of his morning breath as he pressed a kiss to the side of Sirius’ face.

A warm hand ghosted down Remus’ side, cupping the skin with gentle fingers and Remus couldn’t help but shiver and shift closer. Sirius’ grin became a little more predatory and though he moved slow enough for Remus to protest, the Frenchman didn’t.

And Sirius’ hand went further down, and toward Remus’ front where his half-staff became full morning wood. And he couldn’t help arching his hips toward Sirius as careful fingers brushed with purpose over the front of his boxers.

Sirius’ other hand pressed against the centre of Remus’ chest, and it took Remus a moment to realise what he was doing. Feeling his moans. Of which there were plenty when those talented artist’s fingers slipped through the slit in his boxers to the waiting hardness.

“Oh, mon dieu,” Remus breathed as they curled round his cock.

Sirius began to stroke him, moving closer, shifting his hips toward Remus’ and suddenly his cock was sprung free and pressed against another. It was new. Remus’ sexual exploits had all been very few and far between, and nowhere near this tender.

Remus allowed his head to slip back, eyes closed, and he lost himself in the feel of those hands bringing them closer to the edge. Sirius was letting out small huffs and groans of his own, and got even louder when Remus’ curious hands moved down to touch what was happening, to curl his own fingers over the top of Sirius’ and join the ministrations.

Their orgasms were second apart, if that. Nanoseconds. They both shuddered and clung to each other, and the hot liquid spilt across their knuckles.

The afterglow was as warm as the morning sun filtering through the window.

It was after breakfast when Remus became profoundly aware he did not have his medication with him, and it was dangerous to skip even a single dose. He used his pathetic lexicon of signs to explain it to Sirius, without giving anything away.

‘Need home. CLASS. SUPPLIES.’ He circled his closed fist over his chest. ‘Sorry.’

Sirius waved away his apology. ‘Want me walk home you?’ Remus’ brow furrowed as he tried to decipher the signs, and thought he had it when Sirius pointed at himself, then at Remus, then made circles out of both thumbs and forefingers, liked together, and waggled them between himself and Remus. ‘Together.’

“No merci,” Remus said, then flushed at his faux pas. But Sirius was grinning and leaning forward, drawing his finger along Remus’ bottom lip.

Turning his face up to meet the taller man, Remus was rewarded with a slow, lazy kiss, a hand cupping his cheek. ‘Later,’ Sirius signed, zig-zagging his pointer finger in the air. Before Remus could turn and walk away, Sirius grabbed him and kissed him once more, leaving him breathless. With a low chuckle, Sirius backed up, and ever so slowly, shut the door.

*** 

Sirius felt vibrations on the top of the baking table, and looked up to see James kicking the side of it. He saw his best friend’s mouth curve into the familiar, “Oy!”

Sirius gave him a crooked grin, nodding in greeting as his hands were covered in sticky dough. “Wha?”

‘You late. Fred say late. Twenty-minutes! Why?’

Sirius shrugged, but turned his head to the side so he could show off a lovebite he hadn’t realised Remus had given him until he was combing his hair in the mirror that morning after a long shower and good wank. He snorted a laugh when James’ eyes went wide.

‘Moony?’

Sirius nodded. “Yeah.” He finished with the dough, then plopped it into the bowl to rise as he grabbed a large kitchen towel and peeled the remainder of the dough from his hands. Turning round to meet his friend. ‘You angry why?’

James frowned, then shook his head. ‘Not angry me. No. Happy you?’

Sirius’ nod was overly enthusiastic. ‘Happy. FUCKED.’

James pulled a face and turned away for a moment, but when he looked back, his expression was one of concern. ‘I like REMUS. Nice. Work hard. Work good. BUT…’ He stopped and worried his bottom lip. ‘Careful you. Ok?’

Sirius growled a little, tired of James mother-henning him. And half came from Lily, he knew, but half came from James having seen Sirius have too many failed relationships from hearies who always meant well, but intentions never mattered when the impact was just so damned dreadful.

But Remus wasn’t like that. And he couldn’t fault James for his concern, only hope that his friend would let him be. Let him try.

James later announced he was skivving off class, wanting to hang round the café as Lily wasn’t back yet. It took some of the pressure off Sirius to continuously check up on the employees, and he spent a lot of time catching up on making prepared dough for the week, and sketching.

Round tea, he decided to have a smoke, knowing Remus would be by for his shift at some point. James joined him for his own cigarette he could only have when Lily wasn’t in town.

James was blabbering on about something, Sirius only half watching the hands, and his sharp eyes caught sight of something down the alley. Lupin being berated by the greasy Snivellus. Sirius knocked on the wooden palette, getting James’ attention, then nodded toward the confrontation.

Sirius saw James’ mouth twist into several swears which were already at the tips of Sirius’ fingers, and the pair marched down toward the street. Snivellus saw them coming before Remus did, and when Remus turned, he was flushed, holding up his hands in a placating gesture.

‘Fuck off,’ Sirius’ fingers snapped in Snivellus’ face.

Rolling his eyes, Snape huffed, said something to Remus, then turned back. ‘You not own street.’

Sirius gave a casual shrug. ‘Maybe. Fist punch BIG UGLY nose.’

Snivellus took an involuntary step back, no doubt remembering how well Sirius could aim his fists, and how little regard he had for consequences of violence. Their last confrontation just after James and Lily’s wedding had been none to pretty. Sirius had spent a night in jail for it before James got him out, no doubt trying to parent some lesson into Sirius, but the artist had zero fucks about punishment if it meant Snape would suffer.

Snape was backing off though, and Sirius took Remus’ hand, dragging him back down the alley. James was on their heels, and he was attempting to speak and sign at the same time, a difficult task for even the most skilled signer, but James was particularly dreadful with it.

‘GIT,’ Sirius spelt.

James rolled his eyes. ‘He want know why.’

‘Tell. Voice,’ Sirius commanded. ‘Too slow sign and talk.’

James huffed, but it didn’t matter. Sirius had been there, he knew exactly why Snape learnt to sign, and why they all hated each other so much. And he didn’t need to know the story again and again.

Sirius sat back, holding Remus’ hand as James’ mouth curved round all those words to fill in Sirius’ new lover. Remus, for his part, listened intently, his eyebrows up and eyes wide.

It was no doubt James was at the part with the dog, because Remus’ hand flew to his shoulder where Snape was scarred up. James then pointed at Sirius and signed, ‘Scar,’ his finger sweeping across the back of his hand.

With a bored sigh, Sirius pulled down the neck of his jumper to show it off. The ugly, foul thing Remus must have seen the night before. He hadn’t drawn attention to it. Snape had every so cruelly attacked Sirius from behind, as Sirius couldn’t hear him coming. He’d waited in the wings for Sirius to excuse himself to the toilet, and attacked him with a letter opener. All because Sirius had openly mocked him in sign. And James had laughed.

Sirius knew full well he’d been a shit in school. Spoilt and bratty and used the communication barrier to his own benefit. But he’d grown out of it. Snape, it seemed, never had.

James finished the story and Remus was bowing his head. He looked confused, maybe a little sad, and he let Sirius’ hand go. Sirius was worried, but Remus gave him a cautious smile and quickly set out to work. Worried as he was, Sirius had no other choice but to hope he had time to explain. He was not that kid anymore. He was not so pathetic and petty.

An hour later, Remus came up with a small note and passed it to Sirius before going back out to tend to the espresso machine. Sirius glanced down and smiled at Moony’s loopy writing.

‘I feel for him a little. I was bullied in school for many reasons as a child. But you are clearly not the same person. And he has never moved past it. James explained about the dog. So long as you would never…never do something like that again, I can’t be angry.’

Sirius popped out and saw Remus at the counter getting ready to pour a latte. Coming up, he put his hand over Moony’s and smiled. Guiding his new lover’s wrists, he poured the milk onto the dark espresso, then with the dredges, curled and curved them into a series of cascading hearts.

Remus let out a delighted laugh Sirius could feel against his chest before letting go so Remus could serve the drink. It went to a pretty brunette who saw the art and gave a delighted wave to the pair of them. She was the last customer, and with that done, Sirius dragged Remus into the office and shut the door, flicking the lock.

“Let me explain,” he said, drawing on all of his years of speech therapy to make sure he could be understood.

Remus held up his hands, shaking his head. ‘Sign. Ok. No talk…’

Sirius reached out, closing his hands round Remus’ wrists. “It’s okay. You understand me?”

Remus nodded, but his brows were furrowed.

“You’re learning. But right now this is easier. Better.” He cleared his throat which always felt dry after he went verbal for more than a handful of words. But it would be worth it. This would be the most he spoke since he was a child and wasn’t allowed to sign in his parents’ home. And even then he only spoke when he was forced to participate in conversation, which was rare as his voice was off-putting to his hearing family. And honestly he never tried much simply because he wanted to sound different. He wanted them to hate it. He wanted them to want him silent.

‘Sorry,’ Remus signed.

Sirius realised his expression must have fallen at the memory of his shite family, and he waved it off. “I tried to hurt Snape after what he did to me.” His hand brushed against the scar. “I was petty and angry. I could have killed him. After that James and I left him alone, even when he tried to instigate trouble, we ignored him. I think it’s what he hated the most. He learnt sign so he could understand us. I didn’t know until years later.”

Remus’ eyes went wide in understanding, and he nodding for Sirius to continue.

“I’m afraid he’ll try to hurt you.” When Remus tried to brush that off, Sirius pulled him close and tried to lower his voice as best he could. “I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”

Remus very clearly didn’t have the signs to respond the way he wanted to, so he brought his hand up to Sirius’ cheek and the sentiment was conveyed. A shared attraction, shared affection for each other. It was spelled out in the kiss, in the firm embrace. They were okay. They’d be just fine.

*** 

When Remus got home that night, he was all aflutter. His heart beating like a humming bird against his ribs. It was dangerous. His adrenaline so high could trigger a fit, but how could he help it? Sirius was all encompassing, and he didn’t want it to go away.

He’d have to tell him now. Remus had no choice. He was falling too hard, too fast, and he had to trust Sirius would be okay with it. He had to trust Sirius was better than the petty man Snape warned him about.

After his shower that night, he went to the kitchen for tea and groaned when he saw Snape buttering toast. He tried to ignore him, but Snape, as usual, wouldn’t let that happen.

“Loony Lupin. Not so brave when you don’t have your dogs to defend you, are you?”

Remus grit his teeth, but the memory of James’ story was fresh in his mind. What they’d done. How Snape had nearly died. Sirius hadn’t been thinking, but he should have. He should have considered the potential consequences. A superficial scar from a letter opener was hardly a reason for attempted murder. Even if Sirius hadn’t realised what it could turn into.

“Severus.” The name came out unexpectedly, and Remus turned away from the kettle. “James and Sirius explained what happened. They told me and I…”

Remus’ words were cut off when Snape’s hand shot out, shoving Remus back against the cooker. The thin, bony fingers twisted into the front of his shirt. “Shut. Up.”

“I’m only saying…”

“You’re going to defend them. They were just children. They didn’t know better,” Snape hissed in his face, his breath sour and hot. “How little you really know you pathetic cripple. And I don’t need your pity. Not from a person who shits themselves.” He shoved Remus again, then stormed out of the kitchen.

Remus didn’t know why Snape was just so damned angry. Or why he’d hate Remus so much. How could he be that way?

But it wasn’t up to him to figure out. Snape hated him and it would always be that way. They wouldn’t be living together forever and some day he would just be a very unpleasant memory.

Remus didn’t see Snape again for the rest of the week.

Saturday night Sirius, Fred, and Tonks dragged Remus out to a pub. Though he declined the alcohol, he sipped on a sparkling water and enjoyed the conversation. His lessons with Tonks were going very well, and now spending so much time with Sirius, he was able to follow along the conversations, though when they signed at Deaf speed he was a bit lost. But he was trying damned hard.

"Oy, Moony. You ever been with a woman?"

Remus, who hadn't entirely been following the conversation, startled at Fred's question, then turned bright red. "Ah...once. About a year ago. Got pissed with some friends. She was English, on holiday with her mates from school and we er..." he stopped and shook his head. It had been a terrible situation. He was pissed but not pissed enough that he could forget she was not a bloke and it had taken him some serious fantasising to get off. "It was not the highlight of my sexual experiences." He briefly glanced at Tonks who had been interpreting what he said, then a Sirius who was smirking at him, but when Remus' eyes begged Sirius to let it go, he did.

Sirius waved his hand at Fred to get his attention. ‘Where George?’ he signed, changing the topic.

‘Date.’ Fred waggled his eyebrows and exaggerated his signs. ‘Tall. Beautiful. Big COCK.’

Tonks spat out her drink all over Remus who shouted, and Sirius howled with laughter before trying to mop him up. After getting dry, Sirius tugged on his arm. ‘Outside. Cigarette. Come?’

Remus nodded, ignoring the wolf whistle Fred called out as he took Sirius hand and they went round to the side of the building. Sirius pulled one from his pack, lit it, then pulled Remus up to his chest and held him. It made communicating impossible, but it was comfortable and warm against the biting wind.

Closing his eyes, Remus lost himself in the touch until he felt Sirius stiffen under his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw Snape there. His hands were flying too fast for Remus to follow, but Sirius’ face was drawn, frowning as he looked between Snape and Remus.

Face going numb, Remus took a step back. What was Snape signing? What was he saying? With horror, Remus watched as Snape swiped open his mobile and showed Sirius a photo on the screen. He tried to keep it from Remus but Sirius snatched the mobile away and held it.

“Just letting your new boyfriend now about your disgusting habits.” Snape’s voice was low, dripping with venom.

Remus peered over and saw himself lying on the floor. He didn’t see everything else, but he could only imagine how much detail Snape had gotten with that photo during his fit. 

Betrayal and anger stung his face hot and fast. His breathing was coming in short gasps, and he was running before he realised it. His feet tapped on the pavement as he rushed toward his flat. If Snape was out, he could safely hide in his bedroom and away from the world.

It was over now. Surely. There was no turning back.

*** 

Sirius only looked up when Remus took off, and even voicing a shout, Remus didn’t stop. Sirius was beyond livid. Snape called him a cripple, a tramp, said he couldn’t control his bowels and then the photo. Why hadn’t Remus ever said anything about it? What could cause it? In the photo his entire body was stiff and contorted, eyes rolled back in his head.

What the hell was it?

And Snape. The disgusting, cruel git. He was smirking with his yellowed teeth, and Sirius threw the mobile to the ground, stomping on it. He saw Snape’s mouth curve into swears, and Sirius shrugged.

“Asshole,” he spat. Then he was gone.

He knew where Remus would go, and managed to get someone to let him into the building. Their main door was open and he rushed across to Remus’ bedroom which was locked. But he knew he was in there. His fist banged against the wood and after a moment when no answer came, he started to shout.

“I know you’re in there! Moony! And I’m Deaf so I can’t hear you telling me to fuck off. I can also go all night so you’d best let me in or I’ll bring down the entire building to watch me shout like a madman!”

It took thirty more seconds for the door to crack open. Remus attempted to shoo Sirius off, but he wasn’t having it. He pushed the door open, then closed it behind him as Remus threw himself face down on the bed.

Pulling up his desk chair to the edge, Sirius reached over and prodded him until Remus looked over. ‘Tell me.’

Gulping, Remus rolled over to his back, then pointed at himself and spelt, ‘EPILEPSY.’ 

Sirius’ eyebrows went up. It made sense he supposed. No caffeine, no alcohol, no dance clubs. And what he’d seen on the mobile had been a fit, most likely. And Snape had taken advantage of it. What a disgusting waste of perfectly good oxygen.

Sirius was sliding onto the bed before he realised it, and pulling Remus toward him. He held the stiff man until Remus’ shoulders started to relax, and it was when he felt wetness on his shirt he realised Remus was crying.

He fetched a discarded t-shirt on the edge of the bed to clear up Moony’s cheeks. ‘Ok?’

Remus shook his head and mouthed, ‘No.’

Sirius huffed a laugh and shrugged. ‘Ok.’ He brushed his hands down Moony’s cheeks until those amber eyes softened. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Remus carefully moved back to sign, ‘Scared. EMBARRASSED.’

Sirius was shaking his head, but Remus was closing his eyes so Sirius did the next best thing. He kissed him. Remus gasped, which Sirius could feel as the air sucked in along his lips, and he pulled away. ‘I love you.’ The signs came so easily.

Remus froze, and perhaps he hadn’t learnt those yet, but the meaning was plain. Sirius held him by the face and kissed him.

“Please don’t run away.”

Remus gulped, then pressed his forehead against Sirius and his lips curved round syllables and letters and words Sirius couldn’t have understood even if he was hearing. But watching Remus’ mother tongue on his lips was so beautiful. 

He fumbled for paper and with his hands begged Remus to write it down. “In French,” he ordered.

Remus did so, after a moment of hesitation. ‘Dans tes bras c'est mon destin.’ Then he paused and said, ‘I don’t know the signs for it.’

‘Say again,’ Sirius signed. 

Remus did. Then he translated on the page. ‘My destiny is in your arms.’ He paused and then scribbled underneath, ‘Silly and stupid, I know but…’ It ended with a pencil mark scraping across the page because Sirius was pulling him down to kiss him hard and furious. Perhaps it was ridiculous, and perhaps it was moving so fast and it wasn’t perfect. But in that imperfection was something so much more beautiful. And Sirius never felt more complete.

 

Epilogue

 

Blinking his eyes, he came to and looked round. A face was hovering near his, wide blue eyes full of something. An emotion. Remus struggled to remember. Concern? Fear?

Hands were in the air making shapes, but nothing was connecting.

“J…j’pas,” he said, his words slurred and difficult. His body felt wrecked and tired and sore all over. But those eyes. Oh those eyes. Something about them. And that smile because he was starting to remember a little. “Sirius.”

The head nodded as the name came to him so damned easily. Sirius. Love. Want. The hands were moving in sign.

This was the first fit Remus’d had in months. And it hadn’t been too bad, he reckoned as he was on the floor but steady and nothing more than a little bit sweaty from it.

The floor.

Of his flat.

Of his and Sirius’ flat. The flat they’d been sharing for five years.

The fingers making lazy signs at him were starting to make sense now. ‘Name you what.’

Remus brought his trembling hands as they curved round his own letters. ‘REMUS.’

The smile blooming was all the reward he needed. Yes. Sirius. Their flat. In love. The ring on his finger was a symbol of those five years they’d been together. He eased himself up, feeling a bit of pressure in his head, but little pain.

‘How long?’

Sirius checked the clock perched on the wall, then shrugged. ‘Two minute.’

Remus licked his lips. Months without a fit, and only a two minute one at that. The new medication was working very well. He’d still not ever be able to drive, but riding along the back of Sirius’ motorbike was good enough for him, really. He scrubbed his face and smiled when Sirius stretched out along the floor, much like a cat, even swiping a bit at Remus’ ankle.

‘Moony,’ he signed.

Remus quirked an eyebrow. “Oui, mon coeur.”

Sirius shivered at the French coming from Remus’ lips. He was still crap at speech-reading, but he’d got better at recognising some of his favourites. All the ones declaring love. And sex.

Sirius let out a grunt as he stretched again, then eased himself up on his elbow. ‘Hungry me. Pizza?’

Remus nodded, remembering they’d promised to bring dinner over and tend little Harry so James and Lily could have a proper date night.

It took Remus half an hour to regain his bearings enough to leave, but he felt okay. Likely he wouldn’t have another fit that night. They grabbed the pizza and made the walk to James and Lily’s and Sirius strolled in like he owned the place. Something he did anywhere they went, and Remus loved that about him.

He was met suddenly, by chubby hands clinging to his knees, and a mop of messy black hair. Green eyes peered up at him, and a shiny zig-zag scar just above his eyebrow from the year before when Sirius, against Lily’s implicit orders, had let Harry crawl round on the motorbike, even though it wasn’t running.

Harry had fallen. No concussion but by god it bled and James and Remus thought Lily really would kill Sirius.

‘He look cool,’ Sirius defended when it was clear the gash would leave a permanent scar. ‘Battle wound.’

Lily almost killed him again after that quip. But they were over it now. It just gave the boy already filled with too damn much character, a little bit more.

“Moony!” The tiny voice carried, and Remus picked the boy up after transferring the pizzas to Sirius’ arms. He held him high up on his shoulder, ignoring Lily’s shout to be careful and mind the fan on the ceiling.

Remus ducked him round the spinning blades and into the kitchen with a flourish which made the boy laugh with delight.

Sirius swooped Harry down and tickled him. Harry’s giggles were punctuated with signs. ‘Stop! Surrender.’

Sirius let him go and plopped him in a chair. ‘Hungry you?’

Harry’s hands expressed that yes, he was, and his wide, green eyes were so expressive and excited to see the pizza he only got when his godfathers came round because Lily would much prefer him to have plenty of veg.

Lily scowled, but there was a softness to it as she watched Sirius’ fingers toy with the boy’s perpetually messy hair.

‘Have fun. No public sex.’

Lily hissed and smacked Sirius on the arm. ‘Child!’ she pointed to Harry.

‘He not know dirty signs.’ Sirius lifted his chin and when she turned her back he signed to Remus, ‘Yet.’

Remus rolled his eyes, but helped to usher the tired parents out the door, then smiled as Sirius’ arms came round him from behind and a chin settled on his shoulder. A rough, quiet voice whispered into his ear, “You want to teach Harry how to cling-film the toilet?” Remus groaned and Sirius laughed. “And maybe how to dye James’ socks all pink?”


End file.
